You Will Not Get Closure, But You Can Find Understanding

One of the most difficult aspects of leaving a narcissist is that there is no closure. Few people really understand what it's like to survive a psychological abuser. Not only will the narcissist ever understand your point of view, he or she will never attempt to try. In addition to spending the entire relationship feeling … Continue reading You Will Not Get Closure, But You Can Find Understanding

Advertisements

Why Didn’t I Report? Thank You For Asking…

The first time it happened that I can remember, I was three years old. Three. That alone ought to be reason enough as to why I didn't report my sexual assault. Like many in the same situation as me, I did not have the kind of parents whom I could report things to. I did … Continue reading Why Didn’t I Report? Thank You For Asking…

Trauma Isn’t Lazy

Trauma survivors seem to worry more than most that they are being 'lazy' when they aren't 100% productive. Let's expose that lie, shall we? The traumatized brain is anything but lazy. In fact, it is over-worked, over-stimulated, over-active, and over-stressed. Trauma survivors have an enlarged amygdala, which triggers the fight-or-flight response. In a survivor, this … Continue reading Trauma Isn’t Lazy

Who Am I, and What Do I Want?

Healing from narcissistic and emotional abuse is a lifelong unraveling. One has to scrape through many layers of gunk made up from the minimization of abuse and misplaced, mis-formed thoughts about one's self and the world they live in. In many ways, I consider myself extremely fortunate and privileged to have escaped my abusers and … Continue reading Who Am I, and What Do I Want?

When Survivors Dare To Believe They Are Worthy of More

Healing can be a long process, especially from complex trauma. There is an entire lifetime of coping mechanisms that survivors must unravel before they can decide what to keep and what to toss out. The process of becoming who you really are is tough for anyone, but for those who survived childhood abuse, it means … Continue reading When Survivors Dare To Believe They Are Worthy of More

Emergencies are Easy- Healing is Hard

A couple weeks ago, my daughter had a medical emergency. I was four hours away. My husband and I had just hiked in to a remote location, eager to spend a few days in silence and contemplation. It was also much-needed chance to re-connect with each other. The last few weeks had been especially busy, … Continue reading Emergencies are Easy- Healing is Hard

I Have Much More To Say

One year ago today, I created my very first post, I Have Something To Say.┬áThis was a huge milestone in my recovery for a few reasons. Because of the type of abuse I experienced, I had a huge mental and physical block about speaking up publicly. The knots in my stomach, lumps in my throat … Continue reading I Have Much More To Say

For Trauma Survivors, ‘Pushing Through’ Isn’t Heroic- It’s Avoidant

I study a lot of stories, and I am well-versed in the power of inspirational stories to uplift and entertain through shared catharsis. We can learn a lot about our own lives through storytelling. However, there is a big reason why some stories that feature characters who rise above their circumstances go down as all-time … Continue reading For Trauma Survivors, ‘Pushing Through’ Isn’t Heroic- It’s Avoidant

Fear of Retaliation

Before EMDR therapy, I previously did not consider myself a fearful person. If I felt threatened, I would quickly push those thoughts out of my mind and focus on more practical, productive things. I learned to do this as a very young child who had no other option for coping with a cruel, punishing father, … Continue reading Fear of Retaliation

What I’m Saying When I Have Nothing To Say

I have often been labeled a "quiet" person, which always takes me by surprise. My mind runs so loud and fast, I sometimes forget that the constant clatter in my brain is not what others hear. It's true that I often don't often call attention to myself, though it's never because I am without thoughts, … Continue reading What I’m Saying When I Have Nothing To Say