Why Spiritual Abusers Love To Say "God Told Me To"

Whether you run in evangelical circles or not, chances are you've encountered someone who has started a sentence with, "God told me to..." and finished it with something inspirational, aspirational, or irrational. Depending on the denomination, it might get thrown around as a common catch phrase, or it might be reserved for more serious, "big" … Continue reading Why Spiritual Abusers Love To Say "God Told Me To"

How To Think

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we think. I have always been one to challenge the status quo, a habit I picked up from not going along with my abusers' bullshit. I've always been able to see situations from different perspectives, another trait developed as a result of abuse. In my critical thinking … Continue reading How To Think

Unless They’re a Psychopath…

I love reading spirituality and self-help books. I am always looking for ways I can better understand myself and others through a lens of empathy and connection. On a long drive, I was listening to Brené Brown’s latest book, Braving the Wilderness.  It’s a well-articulated book about when integrity encourages us to stand alone rather … Continue reading Unless They’re a Psychopath…

What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now

There is a narcissist in the White House, and we are all in grave danger. From Dr. John Gardner's Duty to Warn to several Ivy League psychiatry professors' recent call to remove him from office, mental health professionals are speaking out. But is it too late? As someone who was raised by abusive, narcissistic parents, … Continue reading What Every American Needs to Know About Narcissistic Abuse Right Now

The Silent Complicit

They see themselves as good people. Conflict makes them uncomfortable. They don't want to get involved. They fear losing friends and family. They wish everyone would just get along. They are the silent complicit, and they are as toxic as the overt abusers they enable. In many ways, they are worse. They claim to be … Continue reading The Silent Complicit

Common Forms of Spiritual Abuse

  I have a unique and diverse perspective on spirituality, religion, and faith due to my own eclectic spiritual background. For the record, I consider myself a devout Christian of the Roman Catholic tradition. I have been a "born again" Christian and experienced the worlds of protestant non-denominational churches, church plants, evangelical churches, and charismatic … Continue reading Common Forms of Spiritual Abuse

When Your Family is on TV

Don't laugh, but watching The Brady Bunch as a kid offered one of my first insights that there might be something wrong with my family. You see, in spite of all the Marsha envy and Peter ruining the song with his pubescent voice, they actually seemed to like each other. They talked to each other. … Continue reading When Your Family is on TV

A Letter to my Younger Self

Dear Younger Self, Trust your instincts. Your frustrations are proof that something is wrong. The knot of anxiety in your stomach is not normal. You should not have to dread going home. You should not have to live a life surrounded by their walls of negativity. You should not have to worry what kind of … Continue reading A Letter to my Younger Self

The Power of Resilience

Psst. I have a superpower. And maybe you do, too. There are many long term, far-reaching, negative effects that children of toxic parents endure, from physical health problems to emotional and social issues. Children of emotionally abusive parents often have the hardest recovery because it is so difficult to de-program all the negative feedback they … Continue reading The Power of Resilience

Protecting My Abusers

Victims do it. Abusers do it. Regular people do it without even realizing it. All too often in abusive situations, all the attention goes to protecting the abuser and blaming the victim. For most of my life, I absorbed the responsibility for my abuse. I did it because at a young, formative age, I was … Continue reading Protecting My Abusers