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It is common for the victims of narcissistic abuse to be kind, caring, compassionate people. They are often so tuned in to the needs of others and so good at listening and understanding that they become unwitting targets for toxic people. They are too often labeled as being “too” sensitive, when they feel hurt by the actions of an abuser. This creates a vicious cycle that puts the abuser on the offensive. Rather than take any responsibility for the result of their actions, narcissists will accuse someone of being defective so the attention goes toward the victim having to defend or explain what common decency is.

First off, it’s impossible to be “too” sensitive when you feel empathy or compassion for the struggles of life. This is our human nature at our best, as we are created to be. At the root of compassion and empathy is universal love- and what could possible be wrong about that?

It is possible, however, to be too cruel, too cold, too unfeeling. These are the everyday traits of narcissists and psychopaths, and usually the underlying cause whenever someone complains that anyone else is being “too sensitive.” An abuser will do something harmful, and rather than take responsibility for their behavior, they will project onto others. To the narcissist, there must be something wrong with the one who is “too sensitive,” i.e. someone who feels hurt when the narcissist makes a cruel remark, or does something intentionally hurtful. Common cover-ups include, “I was kidding.” “Can’t you take a joke?” “Just calm down, you’re always getting bent out of shape,” and so on.

Sensitive people will always appear “too” sensitive to those who lack empathy. A sensitive person is not flawed. In fact, we desperately need more sensitivity in the world. It is sensitivity that inspires, uplifts, and encourages one to grow. Sensitivity means someone has a deep connection to what unifies us, to what matters in life.

Sensitive people shine bright, and encourage others to do the same. Only a deranged, dark, malevolent person would want to tear that goodness down. Don’t fall for the trap. Distance yourself from those who think sensitivity is something to hide or scale back. Never let it become an excuse for someone to treat you badly.

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