Nothing is ever good enough for a narcissist. They seek to tear down and destroy any good thing they can’t claim for their own spotlight. Chances are, if you’ve ever confronted a narcissist about their cruel words, you’ve heard them deflect, “I was just telling the truth!”

This is the lie of the narcissist: to twist “truth” into malice and give it a holy name. When something is true, it illuminates and inspires. Sure, the truth can hurt. Like a bright light, truth exposes everything. But truth is not judgment. It reveals, but does not condemn. Truth ensures that all will be seen- good and evil. This is why good people crave the truth and evil people must distort it.

A narcissist’s “truth” is one such distortion. Its sole purpose is to throw shade on anything the narcissist views as a threat. When a narcissist says, “I was just telling the truth,” what they really mean is that they refuse to take responsibility for their cruel and reckless behavior. By telling the “truth,” the narcissist over-inflates themselves as the good one, while simultaneously implying that anyone who challenges them is an enemy of truth. It then puts the challenger in a defensive position because any person with a conscience (i.e. not a narcissist) will stop to self-reflect. It’s gaslighting at its finest.

Truth is never cruel. Even when it’s an uncomfortable truth, it comes with relief. It means, at last, healing work can begin. When truth is revealed after being long hidden, the person starved of it feels gratitude for it, even when it is unpleasant. The only person who hates real truth is a narcissist. A narcissist’s “truth” is pure poison, concocted with an intent to harm. It is never edifying, never constructive, and is it certainly never actually true.

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