Many survivors, myself included, struggle more than usual this time of year. Perhaps it’s the darkness. Perhaps it’s the expectations. Perhaps it’s the collective anxiety of the season. For me, it’s all of these and more. I can prepare, plan, and manage all the tricks I know to deal with my stuff, but complex trauma sneaks up on me in unusual ways, and right now it feels particularly intense. With that, here are a few reminders for those of us who struggle.
When you are doing the best you can, but it doesn’t fix or change things, your effort is enough.
When you are trying to be gracious in spite of your pain, but it is not reciprocated, your consideration is enough.
When you are curled up in a ball with your head under a pillow trying not to die, being alive is enough.
When no one sees how difficult it is for you, and yet somehow you manage, seeing yourself is enough.
When you do everything right, but it still falls apart, your goodness is enough.
When you don’t have anything left to give, being empty is enough.
When you feel sad, and it disappoints others, honoring your feelings is enough.
When you need space at a time when togetherness is expected, honoring your boundaries is enough.
When you want to reach out, but can’t, your intentions are enough.
When it’s not enough, it’s enough.
When you don’t feel like enough, you are enough.